Humor: Medical Terms

[jondd@juno.com (Jon D Dayley)]

>       Here is the latest in medical terms:
>
> ******The "Clueless" Dictionary of Medical Terms******
> 
> Benign..............................What you be after you be eight
> Artery..............................The study of paintings. 
> Bacteria............................Back door to cafeteria. 
> Barium..............................What doctors do when patients die.
> Cesarean Section....................A neighborhood in Rome. 
> Catscan.............................Searching for kitty. 
> Cauterize...........................Made eye contact with her. 
> Colic...............................A sheep dog. 
> Coma................................A punctuation mark.
> D & C...............................Where Washington is. 
> Dilate..............................To live long. 
> Enema...............................Not a friend. 
> Fester..............................Quicker than someone else. 
> Fibula..............................A small lie. 
> Genital.............................Non-Jewish person
> G.I. Series.........................World Series of military baseball.
> Hangnail............................What you hang your coat on. 
> Impotent............................Distinguished, well known 
> Labor Pain..........................Getting hurt at work. 
> Medical Staff.......................A Doctor's cane. 
> Morbid..............................A higher offer than I bid. 
> Nitrates............................Cheaper than day rates. 
> Node................................-Was aware of- 
> Outpatient..........................A person who has fainted. 
> Pap Smear...........................A fatherhood test.
> Post Operative......................A letter carrier. 
> Pelvis..............................A second cousin to Elvis 
> Recovery Room.......................Place to do upholstery. 
> Rectum..............................Pert near killed him. 
> Secretion...........................Hiding something 
> Seizure.............................Roman emperor. 
> Tablet..............................A small table.
> Terminal Illness....................Getting sick at the airport. 
> Tumor...............................More than one. 
> Urine...............................Opposite of you're out. 
> Varicose............................Near by/close by. 
> Vein................................Conceited.