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Humorous virus warning!
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- Subject: Humorous virus warning!
- From: [email protected]
- Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 17:54:49 +0000
- References: <[email protected]>
>************This Just In: NEW VIRUS WARNING***********
>>
>>If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
>>immediately without reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail
>virus yet.
>>
>>It demagnetizes the strips on all your credit cards, reprograms your
>>ATM access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace
>>field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will
>completely re-write your hard drive, (and your soft drive too).
>>
>>Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
>>computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting
>so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will give your
>>ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
>>
>>This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink
>all your soda and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
>>expecting company. It will hide your car keys when you are late for
>>work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static
>>while stuck in traffic.
>>
>>When executed, "Badtimes" will also give you nightmares about circus
>>midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
>>Rogaine. "Badtimes" will give you Dutch Elm disease and brown patch.
>>
>>If the "Badtimes" mail message is opened in a Windows 95 environment,
>it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
>>dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
>>forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also
>refill your skim milk with whole milk. It is insidious yet subtle.
>>
>>It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
>>interesting shade of mauve.
>>
>>These are just a few of the signs.
>>
>>*******Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.*******
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